Something Borrowed

Well, the other day I went over to my neighbors' house to invite them to Seb's birthday party, which is in a few weeks. She was pregnant the last time I saw her but she was looking a lot smaller this time so I thought I'd pop by and see what was going on. My suspicions were confirmed when I walked into the house and there in the living room was their brand new precious little addition to the family...Baby #5 I believe. So now it's a "Yours, Mine & Ours" kind of thing. I got to hold him for about ten minutes...Amazing though. I can't remember what it was like to have Seb that small (probably because he was still in-utero at that size) but I indulged in it nevertheless. Then today while I was at Chatterbeans with some friends, I got to hold another absolutely adorable little guy. Funny how you never quite know what to do with them when they're not yours, but it was so nice to have a tiny little person hanging out with me, even if just for a few minutes. I didn't really give it much thought the other day...Or today, but looking back tonight, my eyes are filled with tears and my heart is crushed. Not because anything upsetting happened...And I am truly happy for these awesome mommies, but because I don't know when things are going to happen for Jason and I. I'm incredibly ready for another baby in our lives and for the whole experience of being pregnant again. I just miss that time when I could feel every little hiccup and every little flutter. Everyone keeps saying "It will happen when the time is right" and "I know it will happen for you soon" and I really appreciate the support, so don't get me wrong, but when it's not happening to you in tends to make it seem further away, especially since I still haven't started my period! So tonight I think I'll pray for patience. I'll ask for peace. And maybe when I'm not expecting it I'll be blessed with the opportunity to be a mother to another beautiful little person. So, enough talk about that. I'm going to bed.