A little update...

First off, thank you for the words of wisdom and insight into whether preschool is essential or not. And, although I did quite a bit of complaining, I wasn't in hiding, but rather had nothing fun to write about. haha It's a relief to know there are many options out there. We are just looking at the preschool idea for now, but Seb's excited to interact with other kids so if he fits for a preschool we'll send him to one; but if not, we'll stick to the play-dates and community stuff-I'm hoping to get into, or start, a new play group either through church or friends. Jason and I have been talking about our options and whether we think a preschool or other environment would be right for Seb. He's such a social butterfly and when MOPS is over, I want him to still be doing some fun stuff. I do want him to have something for himself when the baby gets here and maybe that's where the drive to get him involved is coming from. I've probably already expressed my anxiety over having another little person in the house, who's going to require so much more care than Seb does, but the LOVE and ATTENTION should not shift from one to another and hopefully we'll find a balance with the new addition. I am a little relieved by Seb's eagerness to share a room with Shanon and desire to hold and feed him as well.

Thankfully we had a MOPS meeting yesterday about understanding all the different forms of depression that women might experience at anytime...Everything from Baby Blues to Postpartum Depression (which I didn't realize were two separate things) to Seasonal, Hormonal, or Masked Depression, and then some. I have been worried that maybe I have been feeling depression, and if so was it from this pregnancy or something else, and would it manifest itself into something so powerful that I felt lost? Was I going to resent this wonderful baby that we are being blessed with? Why was I being so impatient with Seb? Will it get worse as my due date gets closer?Well, after being at MOPS yesterday I realized I'm not depressed just anxious...And having some anxiety disorder just makes me a little crazy sometimes but I believe that my hormones will level out after the baby and things will get back to normal...God help anyone in my way until then! It was a relief to see it from a different angle and realize that things are going to be fine...Better than fine, they'll be great and this baby is a gift that we should be thankful for and that I just need to relax and embrace ever second of it, and not just the pregnancy but also my life and everyone around me.

And with that thought in mind, I'm going upstairs to scrapbook and hopefully forget about Seb's, and my, wonderful new cold that took us over sometime last night. Hope everyone has a wonderful day and weekend!