Nana

My Nana passed away twelve days ago. She was 91 years old. She was born in Tucumcari, New Mexico in 1921. She had one son, my dad. And she only had one true love in her life. He called her "Jan". I'd like to think that when she went to sleep that one last time that my grandpa Frank was the one who came to take her home. My mom says "Nana went home for Christmas".

The last time I got to see my Nana was during our visit for Thanksgiving. I went over on Thanksgiving Day with my dad & sister and we watching the parade on tv and talked with her. I got to tell her that I'm pregnant and I got to hold her hand. The day we had to head home Jason said I should go visit her again since I hadn't gotten to see her much. My dad & I went over and visited with her and put pictures and a green tinsel Christmas tree up in her room. She talked with me and held on to me while I put lotion on her face and hands. When I had to leave I told her I loved her and I'd see her in a few months. I didn't know that was going to be the last time I'd get to visit with her. She was my last living grandparent. And when I was younger we weren't close at all but over the years we came to appreciate each other and, although I know she's not in pain or alone or living half a life, I miss her every day.

I don't cry for her because I know she's up in Heaven. I know she's celebrating the holidays with her brother, her sisters, her husband, my Uncle Sam, and all our loved ones who passed on before her. I cry for us, for my dad, for my sister, my kids, my mom, and myself. It's almost Christmas and all I can think about are the cannolis she used to make, and listening to the oldies in her kitchen while she was cooking pasta, the way the house would smell. The way she used to worry about everyone. I learned to play Tile Rummy in her kitchen. I spent my summers with her, playing in her garden, riding my trike, going to the mall with her, learning things I didn't appreciate at the time.
I'm so thankful for the time I had with her and I wish I could have been there for her more. I'm thankful for the memories.